For many, many years, I had an awful habit of jumping from one life crisis to the next.
Got charged way more for a doctor’s visit than I expected? CRISIS! Got into an argument with a relative? CRISIS! Almost got into a minor collision (but didn’t)? CRISIS! Had my car break down at the stoplight? CRISIS!
‘When you are stuck in this mindset, anything and everything can be a crisis.’
It was an enlightening day when I figured out that not everything had to be a crisis. I’m not even sure what precipitated this shift in my thinking; it just happened. Maybe it was that I observed a relative (from whom I’d learned this behavior) making a big stink about something that was clearly not a big deal. It wasn’t a crisis-worthy sort of situation. It’s kind of embarrassing (or at least it was for me) to witness that sort of behavior and then realize that I often acted the same way.
Don’t get me wrong. Some things are scary and stressful. However, they don’t necessarily have to be a crisis. If it’s something severe enough, sometimes you can’t help but go into crisis mode (and in those cases, to my thinking, they would be considered crisis-worthy.) An example: Your child being bitten on the face by a dog. (Happened to one of our kids unfortunately and a totally crisis-level situation.) I believe wholeheartedly that with a certain amount of mindfulness and self awareness, you can stop the knee-jerk reaction of needlessly labeling everything a crisis and start living more peacefully.
Assessing the Situation
It requires taking a moment to stop and look at the situation. In other words, considering your perspective. You must ask yourself a few questions:
How serious is this really?
Is it really worth the drama?
Will I even care about this in 5 years?
What am I afraid of (as it pertains to the situation?) Understanding the fear (if present) will help point you in the right direction in terms of calming yourself down with reassuring self talk.
Also, importantly: Is there anything productive that I can do about it? If there is something productive you can do about it, then do it! If there’s nothing you can do about it, then you need to acknowledge that while the situation may stink, it is not the end of the world. You *can* peacefully move on without making a big, stinking fuss about it.
Cutting Off The Source
Another important component to understanding this behavior is the attention-craving source of it. I’m not sure that this is true of all people with this behavior, but it is definitely present in some at least.
If you go exclaiming to friends and family about your great crisis (and expecting sympathy and attention from them which then leaves you feeling satisfied), then this applies to you.
It also amounts to leeching sympathy and attention which is never a healthy or positive thing to do especially since it’s rarely a one time thing. It’s kind of like dealing with an emotional vampire. The sympathy and attention they get from one crisis doesn’t last forever, so it’s off to the next crisis to get a ‘fix’ of the attention and sympathy they are craving. Eventually, friends and family get tired of the constant drama.
So, to deal with this, you must recognize that you’re doing it and commit to stopping the behavior. No more drama and no more needless crises!
The Two-Step Process
It is as simple as this two step process (which is summed up from everything above):
1) Assess the situation and calmly adjust your perspective if needed. Do what you can about it. Reassure yourself if you need to. Otherwise, put it off to the side and leave it alone.
2) Abstain from being a drama queen about the situation.
If you have always let yourself run wild with this sort of behavior, then it may take some time to become more self-controlled. It is, however, totally worth the effort and as I am proof of, it can be done.
A quick disclaimer: I am not a physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, or anything of the sort. All of the information I include in my posts is based on my own personal experiences, my own opinions, and is for informational purposes only. You can read the full disclaimer here.
